


Your Life Was My Life's Best Part

by crazy4malex



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:31:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazy4malex/pseuds/crazy4malex
Summary: The consequences of what happened at the end of Episode 13 of Roswell finale.





	1. Chapter 1

Michael walked into the Pony intent on doing exactly what he'd decided when he'd talked to Isobel. He was going to simplify his life. He needed to quiet his mind and try to find himself just like Alex was trying to do.

That decided, he saw Maria by the bar, her back to him and asked if the bar was open. His answer would tell him what she thought of him being there.

When she said yes, he walked over to her and she turned around. She had a waiting look about her. She knew what she wanted. 

On impulse, he leaned in and kissed Maria. As nice as the kiss was, that's just what it was. Nice. Compared to Alex's kisses, which he knew he shouldn't compare, this just wasn't going to work out. The impulsive heat in the desert was just that, impulsive in the moment drunken want. Now he realized he thought of her more like a friend. 

Michael thought if he could start over with someone easier and just enjoy someone with no history with him, it would be with Maria. But now he knew he couldn't. He didn't love her and didn't want to use her. She was a nice person and he didn't want to hurt her because he wanted to distract himself from his crazy life. 

He needed to do this alone. To figure out what he wanted from life now that Noah was out of their lives and he no longer needed to go find his family.  
What did he want? He didn't know. And he needed some quiet time to figure it out. 

He needed to go back to his place and wait for Alex to get there so he could tell him what he needed.

"I'm sorry Maria. I shouldn't have done that." Michael said sincerely sorry.

Maria looked shocked having thought for sure that this time they would work. They had been flirting for weeks and she knew Michael was not immune to her charms. 

She wanted this. Even if it meant taking him from Alex. Although, she wouldn't see it that way. If she could tempt Michael away from Alex, then he wasn't interested in Alex enough and then she wouldn't have anything to feel bad about.

"What do you mean? I thought you felt the same way I have, you certainly were giving off that vibe." Maria was not happy now.

"I know, and I'm sorry Maria. I thought I could make it work, but I can't." Michael started to explain when he suddenly felt a sharp pain and then nothing. He'd never been more terrified in his life. The nothing came from his connection to Max. Never before had he lost a link with his siblings.

He paled and his hands started to get clammy. "I've got to go." He said and turned to leave.

Maria stepped in front of him and put her hands on her hips. "Go where? What are you talking about. You can't just leave with no more explanation than I'm sorry. We can make this work. I know we can." she smiled flirtatiously. 

"Maria, later, I have to go. Now!" Michael said and pulled away from her. He was in such a panic as he ran out of the Pony.

Alex looked at his watch again and finally gave up. It had been hours since he'd been waiting and figured Michael forgot about him. He should have been home by now unless something bad had happened with Max or Isobel. Either way, he had waited long enough. It was cold out and he could always catch up with Michael later if he really was dealing with an alien crisis. 

He passed by the Pony on his way home and froze up when he saw Michael's truck in front of the "Closed" bar. He stomach turned to ice. He felt sick and didn't know what to do. He couldn't go back to his place and deal with this. The silence would drive him crazy and he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He couldn't go to Liz because that would put her in the middle of things.

If Michael had come back to his trailer and told him he'd chosen Maria over him, he would have managed to somehow deal with it, but Michael had left him waiting and had gone to Maria instead. He started to feel anger boiling over now that the initial shock had worn off.

He needed to talk to someone who would understand. There was only one person who would completely understand. His air force buddies wouldn't understand since most of them didn't know he was gay. There were a few that knew, but they didn't know about the alien component.

He pulled up outside of Kyle Valenti's place and sat in his vehicle for a few minutes.

Finally the front door opened. "Are you going to sit in there forever or are you going to come in." Kyle called from his doorway. 

Alex bit his lip but got out of his truck. He and Kyle weren't really friends. Kyle mentioned he wanted to go get a beer with him to break that ice, but Alex still hadn't trusted him. Over the last few weeks of them working together and Kyle's understanding of how he felt for Michael, Alex started to wonder if they could be friends.

He guessed the answer was yes, because he was here as a friend, in need of a friend.

He could see Kyle's sarcasm change to concern when he got a look at Alex's face. He must look almost as bad as he felt.

"You look like shit, Manes. Come on in." Kyle said rather softly. As if coaxing a wild animal into his home.

Alex followed him in, relieved to have someone he could talk to.

"You okay?" Kyle asked with concern when Alex started pacing his living room. 

"It's Michael." Alex got out. He swallowed to gather his thoughts. They were all over the place.

"Something wrong with Michael?" Kyle asked in genuine concern for Michael. The two weren't the best of friends.

"No, I mean I don't think so. No. He's ...fine." Alex got out. 

"Okay." Kyle frowned wondering what Alex wanted. 

"I...Michael and I were supposed to meet up this morning to talk, and I waited several hours in the cold, but he never showed. He ran out of his place in a hurry last night and told me we'd talk in the morning." Alex trailed off.

Kyle waited, letting Alex get it out at his own pace. "I figured whatever emergency was going on last night, he was probably still facing it this morning and decided to go home and touch base with him later. 

Kyle realized something must have happened for that not to be the case or Alex wouldn't look this bad. Especially if nothing was wrong with Guerin.

"I was on my way home when I saw..." Alex had to swallow back bile before he could finish his explanation. "His truck was parked outside the ...Pony, and it's closed." he finished and fell into the nearest chair. 

Kyle wanted to punch Michael out, but stayed calm for Alex, not knowing what Alex needed from him. He knew Alex didn't needed him to fight his battles. 

"Are you sure his truck wasn't just left there because he was drunk?" Kyle tried to ask more questions hoping what they were thinking might not be the truth. 

"I was at his place. He wasn't there." Alex reminded him.

"You knocked loudly? In case he was sleeping off a drunken haze?"

"I have a...key. I let myself in." Alex swallowed the more he thought of what he'd seen passing by the Pony. There was no excuse of him being drunk. Usually Maria called Max or Isobel when Michael was drunk and they would drive him home. She didn't have any extra room at her place. Unless it was with her.

"That bastard." Kyle couldn't help but say under his breath.

Alex let out a slow breath but didn't disagree. His anger was returning.

"He could have met me back at his place to explain he wanted to be with Maria and then gone to her. He didn't have to leave me waiting there for her. That...that was just the shits!" Alex was letting out his anger now.

Kyle nodded and let him rant. He needed someone to rant to, and he knew that's why he hadn't gone to Liz. 

Alex was in the middle of his rant when Kyle's phone rang.

Alex stopped his angry tirade so Kyle could hear his caller.

"What?! Of course. I'll be right there. Hang on Liz."

Alex looked anxious when Kyle hung up.

"What is it?" Alex asked worried about Liz.

"Liz wasn't coherent something about I needed to get to the cave where the pods were because Max was dead from helping Rosa."

"What!?" Alex was confused and worried for his friend. "Rosa's dead so what was she talking about?"

"I have no idea." Kyle said as they took off in Kyle's car.

They passed the Pony and Michael's truck was gone. "Guess he got the same SOS we did." Kyle commented to lower the tension in the car. 

"Yeah, but his probably wasn't by phone." Alex made the comment and Kyle nodded, knowing about the siblings' connection.

Michael rushed into the pod chamber on the heels of Isobel who had just gotten there herself. She froze and gasped, then ran to the other side of Max and watched as Liz tried to resuscitate him. Isobel looked helpless and tears were running down her face. She hadn't cried when she'd found out the 4th alien was Noah, but now she couldn't stop crying. This was Max. Her brother, her twin. Michael noted.

Michael just stood over them with his fists clenched, his breathing shallow, and fighting tears. He too felt helpless.

Isobel watched Liz another minute or two before she looked around desperately. Then her mind cleared. "Kyle!" she exclaimed.

"Right behind you." Kyle said coming up behind Michael, with Alex.

Liz and Isobel made room for Kyle to do his work and watched at he started getting his equipment ready. Alex helped bring over the rest of it and Liz kept up her resuscitation. Liz was pumping Max's chest, furiously, to get his heart going again. 

Alex stepped back and then noticed Rosa for the first time. He did a double take but put two and two together and realized that Max had died saving Rosa. How she got there he didn't know, but she was huddled under a blanket lost and confused. He took off his shirt and helped Rosa put it on as she was out of it herself. They both watched the scene before them.

Kyle put the monitor pads on Max and then rubbed the paddles together and told Liz to clear and he jolted Max's heart.

Isobel jumped and put her hand to her mouth as they worked on Max. She was shivering and holding her body as tears continued to flow. 

Michael came and stood behind Iz and took her into his arms. She leaned against him for support and he rubbed her arms to help stop her shaking.

Every time Kyle jolted Max's chest with electricity she jerked in Michael's arms and cried a little harder.

It wasn't working. Michael could tell by the look on Kyle's face and at the monitors he was watching. Tears were running down Michael's face now too and he didn't know what else they could do.

Then he remembered something Noah had said. That they hadn't used half as much of their abilities as they really could. Not like Noah had. And that they had more than just one ability.

"Kyle, move out of the way." Michael said calmly. 

Isobel sobbed and held herself thinking Michael was telling Kyle it was over.

Liz thought the same thing. "No! Kyle, don't give up. Keep going. Please!" Liz was a mess as well. Her sobs were shaking her whole body and she was breathing heavy from having worked at trying to resuscitate Max herself.

Kyle wasn't ready to give up because so many people were counting on him, but he knew there wasn't anything more he could do. Max was gone.

Kyle looked up at Michael thinking he might be the one to get the girls to admit that Max was gone, so he moved away from Max.

"No!" both Liz and Isobel said at the same time. Both sobbed Max's name and lowered their heads as Kyle got up and Michael took Kyle's place.

Alex watched holding a confused Rosa to him, the only thing he could do right now. He wanted to go to Liz but she was watching Michael intently and he didn't think she wanted to be touched just yet.

Michael concentrated on what he wanted to do and put his hand over Max's heart.

Isobel gasped as she realized what Michael was trying to do and held a hand over her mouth again in anticipation. 

Everyone held their breaths when they each realized what Michael was going to try.

Michael saw his hand start to glow and he was shocked too, not really sure it was going to work. Now he concentrated and remembered they had stronger powers than they realized and he just needed to pull on them.

The light under his hand started to brighten and Michael concentrated on waking Max up. Of getting his heart beating again, his blood pumping, coursing through his veins and bringing him back to life. If Max was able to do it with Rosa, then he could do it with Max.

When Max actually started to cough and move, Michael sat back and shaking, he turned around and threw up. He slumped against the nearest rock and watched as Max slowly sat up with Kyle's help as Liz and Isobel hovered over him while Kyle checked him over.

Kyle checked Max's vitals with his equipment and gave them a nod and his disbelief was obvious.

Liz and Isobel were waiting for the okay to get to Max. They were in his arms and hugging him and crying all over him.

Max hugged them both and was told what happened.

Max looked over at Michael who was still leaning against a rock, looking haggard. 

"Thank you Michael." Max swallowed with emotion, still amazed at what Michael'd been able to do.

Michael nodded.

The girls helped Max up. Max and Liz kissed for a minute and then Liz turned to Rosa and back to Max. 'Thank you Max! Thank you so much." And she went to Rosa to give her a hug. 

Kyle saw Alex shirtless and saw Rosa with his shirt on and shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Alex. "It's cold out there, Alex." he said.

Max turned and held out a hand to help Michael up. Michael was still a little shaken but didn't know why he wasn't dead.

"Why aren't I dead too?" he asked out loud.

"I think I would have been okay if I hadn't put all my energy into killing Noah. I think I didn't have any energy left to bring Rosa back as well.

He had Liz snuggled against him and Isobel on the other side. Both hugging him tightly thrilled he was alive.

Isobel ran to Michael and hugged him. "Thank you Michael." She wiped at her tears and then at Michael's drying ones. She looked him over closely. "Are you sure you're alright?" 

"I'm fine." he said and put an arm around her when she hugged him. They headed out, and tried to decide who drove what vehicle. Everyone had driven their own except Alex and Kyle. They didn't want Max to drive so they decided Liz would drive Max home.

"Kyle or Alex will you drive Max's car home?" Liz asked. 

"Well I drove my truck so..."

"I'll drive your truck. I have to go to your place to pick up mine anyways." Alex said quickly.

Kyle realized why he said that and nodded. "Sure." He said.

They were all going back to Max's place. 

Kyle turned to Alex. "You going to come to Max's at all?"

Alex shook his head. "I need some space right now or I'll say something I'll regret around the family celebrating Max and Rosa."

Kyle agreed and squeezed Alex's arm.

"I'll leave your truck and the keys under the mat before I take off." Alex promised and headed over to Kyle's truck.

Michael held back, dreading his talk with Alex especially now, but he had to say something since Alex might have gone by his place before all hell broke loose. He also hated having to tell Alex that he had gone to Maria this morning and kissed her. Thinking he would start a relationship with someone with less baggage. Someone that didn't cause him bad memories or pain. But that he couldn't do it. He needed space from Alex and Maria. He needed to deal with his pain and agony by himself. He didn't want a second-rate relationship with Maria and he didn't want the hurt and pain that came with Alex.

He stepped up to Alex but Alex cut him off. "Don't say anything. Just go enjoy having Max and Rosa both alive." he said sharply.

Michael looked confused. "Aren't you coming? Rosa is your friend." he stated.

"I'll see her tomorrow." Alex said and left, not even being polite.

Michael worried why Alex was angry. Was it just because he hadn't shown up? But then wouldn't he have figured this is what held him up? He couldn't know anything about where he had been, could he? Michael realized the odds were against that as he watched Alex drive away.

Alex went back to his own place to find Lexie waiting for him. "It's okay girl, I'm home now. Want to eat baby? Huh?" His little beagle was waiting for him with open arms. At least someone wanted him. He'd never really been wanted by anyone until Michael. Then his stupid defenses wouldn't let Michael close for so long. He knew he had hurt Michael too, always pushing him away, never letting Michael have the chance of hurting him. But Michael was the last person who would have hurt him if he hadn't pushed him away. 

He would have understood Michael wanting to move on, not trusting Alex now, but to go straight to Maria, neither one letting him know ahead of time how they felt and what they wanted, was just low. Especially when Michael knew he was waiting for him. Here he was in the cold, waiting, and they were shacked up at Maria's place. He was pissed! Now he was just hurt and lonely. He fed his girl and himself and then took a shower, took off his prosthetic, which was water proof which helped him take showers, and got into bed with his dog and lay there trying to sleep. He had to work in the morning so he might as well make a night of it.

Michael was the last to arrive at Max's place for the celebration of Max and Rosa both returning from the dead.

"What are we going to tell everyone about Rosa having returned?" Isobel asked.

Liz stopped laughing with Rosa and looked stricken. Michael could tell she hadn't thought that far ahead. Rosa looked upset at the thought herself. 

"We have to tell dad." she looked at Liz pleadingly.

"Of course we do. There's no way we can do anything else. But what about everyone else?" Liz looked around hoping for an answer.

"Hell, she can either have been kidnapped all this time or she's a long lost twin." Michael added sarcastically.

"Wait a minute, that might not be a bad idea." Max said after everyone had thrown something at Michael.

"She had a twin!?" Kyle asked shocked. Maybe Max was still sick after all. 

"No, but a cousin who looks just like her might work." he answered with a frown. Still not sure that was good enough.

"That could work, but would the cousin have all of her mannerisms and memories, too?" Michael asked.

"Maybe the kidnapping thing would be best." Isobel suggested, taking an onion ring and nibbling on it. 

"The kidnapper just let her loose after all these years and didn't ask for a ransom?" Kyle remarked, taking a roll and making a sandwich with it.

They all stood around eating and thinking.

"What if I escaped? I was finally able to escape." Rosa thought.

"It could work. We've seen a few women in the papers who have been in captivity for a long time and finally just escaped." Max added with a nod.

"That could work." Isobel smiled.

"Rosa you're so smart." Liz said, so proud of her older sister, who was now her younger sister. She frowned at the confusion.

"So that's what we tell everyone other than dad right?" Rosa asked.

Michael could tell she wanted to make sure her dad knew the truth.

"Yes. Well I hate to cut this night short, but I'd like to get Rosa home and explain it all to our dad in enough time to get to work tomorrow." Liz joked.

"Kyle, will you come with us? I want to make sure dad doesn't get too upset with the news." Liz asked. 

Kyle nodded and said he'd be right behind her as he finished his sandwich. 

Liz kissed Max good bye at the door and Michael rolled his eyes thinking these two were going to make him sick if they kept this up.

As Kyle was leaving, Michael stopped him. "When did you and Alex become so cozy? What was he doing at your place? Has he forgiven you then?" 

"Well let's hope so, because then there's hope he'll forgive you in the next ten years." Kyle gritted his teeth and shook his arm loose from Michael's grip and walked out the door.

Michael's heart fell into his stomach. "Wait, what do you mean?" he followed Kyle out. He had a sick feeling he knew.

"Oh, wasn't that your truck at the 'Pony' early this morning?" Kyle asked in a disgusted tone. "While Alex was waiting in the cold outside your home, you were shacking up with DeLuca?" he bit out.

Michael's face paled. "You saw that?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"No, worse. Alex did on his way back to his place." Kyle smirked happily when he saw the look on Michael's face.

Michael let Kyle go, having to lean against the porch as his world started spinning.

It was his own fault. He had no one else to blame but himself for being so weak as to go to Maria's in the first place. He should have known Alex would be waiting at his place early in the morning with the way Michael had left in an all fire hurry the night before. Alex probably thought he was in trouble and wanted to make sure he was okay.

He cursed himself. Even though he realized right away that Maria wasn't able to help him, he had still gone to her first, and kissed her hoping he could feel something. And if he had, would he have gone further before talking to Alex? Would Maria have gone further knowing Alex cared about him? He didn't want to know answers those questions.

What was he going to do? He'd have to talk to Alex. He'd wait until tomorrow, as it was getting late and he doubted Alex would let him in anyways.

Alex called Liz while he made breakfast the next morning. 

"Hey Liz, how'd it go last night with your dad?"

"Hey, Alex! Good. He was shaken up upon seeing Rosa and we almost needed Kyle there, but he took the alien part just fine. Hey, Why didn't you stay last night? I didn't even know you weren't until you didn't show up at Max's place. Rosa was looking for you too." Liz asked worriedly. 

"I wasn't feeling that well last night, Liz." Alex answered truthfully.

"Oh, are you feeling better today? Want me to run some of my dad's favorite chicken soup over at lunchtime?" She asked.

Alex smiled. The Best. Friend. Ever. was his Liz. "No don't bother I was going to ask you what you were doing for lunch today?"

"You want to meet at the diner for lunch?" she exclaimed. "Rosa would love it!" 

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I'd love to. I'll be there around our usual time? 1 okay?"

"Fine. See you then, Alex."

When Alex stepped into the diner he found himself full of Rosa as she ran to him and wouldn't let go. 

"I'm still so shocked at what happened to me and that I came back from the dead! I feel like I've got a new chance at life and this time I'm not going to blow it with drugs and alcohol." She whispered in his ear.

"Good for you." Alex smiled and walked with her over to where Liz was sitting. 

He was relieved Maria wasn't with her. He wondered if Michael was keeping her too busy. That thought soured his mood and made him sick.

"Alex. You feeling better today?" Liz asked with a smile at seeing him. She noticed him looking around.

"Maria's sorry she couldn't be here for lunch. She said she had deliveries coming today and couldn't get away. That she would see us tonight. You coming over?"

Alex didn't want to lie to her so he changed the subject. "So what's the story you're telling everyone about Rosa showing up after all these years?" he asked.

Rosa sat down next to Alex and hugged his one arm. "Oh Alex," she shook and sobbed. "I was held by a psycho all these years and finally just found a way to run. I can't believe I was gone for 10 years. He kept me in the basement and without anything down there but a bed and a toilet, I lost track of time." She cried on his shoulder.

He stared at her in shock and then looked at Liz. "Okay, she's good. And that scares me." He admitted. 

Rosa hit him on the arm and laughed. 

Alex helped Liz finish catching Rosa up on things for the last ten years. He wasn't hungry but he pretended to eat so Liz wouldn't worry. He kept them both busy with jokes and questions.

" I can't believe we have phones that are like wristwatches now!" Rosa said still amazed at the new technology since she had been gone. "And my Alex went to war and has been there for the last 10 years. You are truly a hero my sweetie!"

Alex laughed and blushed. When they were younger they had all been Rosa's younger friends and she had loved Alex and thought he was her sweetie. He couldn't believe she still remembered that. Then he saw Liz looking closely at him and he took that at his cue to leave.

"I've got to get back to work. I'll see you guys later on." He got up and started away.

"You will be coming over tonight for ice cream and more talk with all of us won't you?" Liz asked again. Not having forgotten he'd never answered her.

Alex looked uncomfortable. He hated lying to Liz but with Rosa's homecoming and Liz in the middle of he and Maria he didn't want to burden her.

"I can't. I have worked to bring home tonight. It's going to be a late one." He lied and shrugging he left.

That night Alex brought in dinner, not in the mood to cook. He fed Lexie and sat to eat his pizza while he went over some new codes on his lap top.

He brought them home to work on so he wouldn't totally be lying to Liz. He sat on the couch and had the news on low in the background for noise. He liked to keep up with the ongoing war to see what was going on with some of his buddies who were still there. 

He would have had another year over there himself if an IED hadn't taken his lower leg. 

Kyle had just joined the ladies at Liz's place above the Crashdown when Liz grabbed him and led him into the hall.

"Okay, spill." she said in a demanding voice. Giving him a look that said don't lie to me.

"About what exactly?" He asked although he was pretty sure he knew what. He'd called Alex and asked if he was going and remembered Maria would be there so Alex said he had told Liz he was working tonight. Which he was.

"About why Alex avoided a lot of things I asked today and acted all uncomfortable and jumpy. He didn't eat and that's not like Alex, and he didn't want to come tonight. And Maria is all weird tonight too. She actually looked relieved when I said Alex wouldn't be here." Liz looked at Kyle and waited. 

"Alex will kill me. He didn't want you to know because you have enough going on right now what with Max and Rosa and you being both his and Maria's best friend." Kyle started explaining.

"Didn't want me to know what exactly? Something is going on between him and Maria isn't it?" Liz raised an eyebrow daring him to lie.

"Yeah. It is. I'm surprised Maria didn't tell you. Although she might actually be ashamed now that she's thought about it." Kyle pursed his lips in thought.

He knew Liz heard the bitterness in his voice and saw her raise her eyebrows once more.

"What happened that Maria would be asham...No way! She did not get with Guerin behind Alex's back! I told her to talk to Alex before she did anything else." Liz was angry now. "What happened?"

"Alex was supposed to meet Michael at his trailer yesterday morning and was left waiting. He figured Michael got delayed with alien business so he left and found Michael's truck at the 'Pony' at 7 in the morning."

"Alex told me that Maria knew he loved Michael and the fact that she got with Michael without having the nerve to talk to him first is what hurt him and pissed him off. He would have understood if they had talked to him and explained their feelings first. But he wasn't even a thought in their minds when they were together, Liz. Hell I'm pissed for him. Alex is a good guy. He deserves better." Kyle went on a small rant for Alex.

Liz smiled. "You're a good friend to Alex lately, Kyle. I'm glad he has you and me in his corner." she said.

"So you are on his side without even talking to Maria?" he asked surprised.

"Yes. I talked with Maria just the other day and she told me she wouldn't act on her feelings because she knew Alex loved Michael. I told her she couldn't help the way she felt but to talk to Alex first." Liz explained.

"Honestly, I never thought she'd be able to be with Michael knowing what it would do to Alex. But I thought she would at least talk to Alex before she acted on anything. And I know she feels weird about it. She acted that way tonight when I said Alex wasn't coming. I'm pissed myself. But I'll definitely be talking to Maria tonight. I want to ask her what the hell she thinks she was doing." Liz finished.

Kyle nodded. "Well just leave me and Rosa alone before you corner Maria about Alex. I'll keep Rosa busy watching movies if you want to take Maria downstairs."

 

Alex was still working on his coding hours later when there was a knock at his door. He had a feeling he knew who it was and almost thought about not answering it. But he knew Michael and knew he would just keep knocking. And Alex wasn't going to hide. He had nothing to be ashamed about. And it would feel good giving Michael what he deserved.

He reached for his crutch since he had his prosthesis off, and leaned on it to help himself up. Another knock sounded and Alex got more pissed. Michael waited all night to come talk to him and he had the nerve to think Alex was not getting to the door fast enough for him.

"Alex I know you're in there." Michael called out.

Alex flew open the door and looked furious when he saw Michael standing there.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you want Guerin. I'm busy with work. I want to finish so I can get some sleep." he glared at Michael.

"Look, Alex, I can explain." Michael started before Alex closed the door on him.

"Really? With something that doesn't sound like you left me waiting at your place while you were with Maria!?" Alex shot out, now thoroughly enraged. 

"After your night with Max and Isobel and dealing with Noah, you decide to go to Maria when you knew you left me worrying about you the night before!? I hope you and Maria are happy with yourselves. And you better not have come here asking me to forgive either of you because that's not going to happen." Alex finished, now calming down having gotten it out.

"Can you let me explain?" Michael asked quietly. Knowing everything Alex had said was right. He had gone to Maria first. Even if he'd regretted it afterwards. 

"Look, I have no excuse for going there to Maria when I knew you were going to come see me. But I want you to understand..."

"You know what? I don't care what you have to say. You just confirmed all I need to know. I hope the two of you are miserable together. I realize I should be a bigger man then that, but I'm not. She's not a friend of mine if she can easily just jump into bed with you after she told me I loved you, before I told her!" he was irate all over again hearing Michael admit, that he and Maria had been sleeping together, to him. He had hoped that maybe there had been a reason other than what he'd thought. He was so stupid. Now he was mad at himself too.

"Good bye Guerin. And tell Maria not to come near me or try to talk to me and give me her excuses either."

"We're not together." Michael stated before Alex could close the door. "I realized after I kissed her that I didn't want to be in a relationship that wasn't whole hearted. However, I need not to feel in pain. With you, that's all I feel lately. And Maria doesn't help either since I would just be using her. I need time away from both of you. I just need to get myself together, to heal." Michael got out. He could see the hurt in Alex's eyes but knew he had to stay firm. He could so easily jump into bed with Alex, but afterwards there would still be pain and confusion being with him. 

He felt horrible though because he knew Alex was hurt since they hadn't given him a heads up. And they hadn't. He thought of Alex waiting out in the cold for him, with his leg getting cramped, while he was kissing Maria. He was a shit. He didn't want to think what would have happened if he would have thought it would work between him and Maria. He hoped he would have gone to Alex first and explained, but he wasn't sure. And that ate him up.

Alex was still mad, but realized that Michael hadn't gone through with anything more serious than a kiss with Maria. And Michael had been through a lot with Noah and then healing Max. He ran to some place where he didn't have to face any of his problems. But he acknowledged it couldn't work with Maria. He just wished Michael had realized he could come to him for a safe place. And now Michael was telling him he didn't want anyone right now, that he needed time. Well Alex could give him that time. After all, he had run from Michael enough times and Michael was always there for him. He was just terrified, deep down, that Michael would decide Alex was too painful and brought up too many horrible memories when he looked at him. That he couldn't get past it and decided he couldn't be with him. It hurt Alex's heart and made it hard for him to breathe.

Liz pulled Maria away from a movie they had all seen, but Rosa, and they went downstairs to talk.

"Okay, let's hear it." Liz tried to say calmly. 

"What, Alex went running to you already?" Maria spat.

"Alex didn't say anything. Why would you think he had?" Liz asked, wanting to know what Maria had to say.

"Then who told you?" Maria asked still huffy.

"So there is something to be told?" Liz asked with raised eyebrows and tight voice.

"It wasn't like Michael and Alex were together. Michael came to me. What was I supposed to do?"

"Oh I don't know, talk to Alex maybe!" Liz was angry and disappointed. 

"I really don't own him an explanation you know. Like I said, they weren't together. Obviously Michael chose me over Alex so..."

"Do you hear yourself? You knew Alex loved Michael and you said you wouldn't act on those feelings."

"And you told me we can't help who we love." Maria defended herself.

"I told you to talk to Alex first if you were going to act on those feelings. Did you know Michael left Alex waiting on his steps while you two were together at the 'Pony?" Liz demanded with her arms crossed.

"How would I know that. Go yell at Michael not me. All I did was kiss Michael back when he came in." Maria said calmly.

"You sound like you don't care. That you don't feel the least bit upset that Alex is hurt. So hurt and disappointed in you I'm sure. You're supposed to be one of his best friends. You sensed how much he loved Michael and how hopeful he was that they were going to finally work it out." Liz tried to get Maria to realize that she should feel a little bit upset about the situation.

"But you told me I couldn't help who I loved and I can't." Maria said defensively but with little guilt or remorse for Alex.

Liz was stunned. "You love Michael now? Really, Maria!? Since when? I can see you starting to like him a lot, but love? You've barely talked to the guy and only when he's been in your bar to throw him out. How did you fall in love with him now when you had the last 10 years without Alex here." Liz demanded so irate at Maria. She was so disappointed in her friend too.

"Oh so because Alex is back, I can't have feelings for Michael now?" Maria asked throwing her arms up in the air. "You know what? I'm done trying to explain myself. I don't owe Alex anything. I didn't do anything wrong. Go yell at Michael if you want someone to feel bad." And with that Maria left.

Liz swore in Spanish as she went back up the stairs.

The TV was off and Kyle and Rosa were talking quietly. They both looked up when Liz came in. "So how'd it go? Did you send Maria home crying? I know how you can be little sister." Rosa asked gently.

Liz was still irate and paced the room. "No. I didn't make Maria cry. Maria doesn't think she did anything wrong! She thinks Michael was fare game and it wasn't her fault Michael chose her over Alex."

"Unbelievable." Kyle said softly under his breath. "She thinks her crush is enough to take Michael knowing that Alex loves Michael?"

"Oh no, she thinks she's in love with him." Liz swore again in Spanish.

"What? When did this happen? Certainly not in the 10 years they've been here together in Roswell. If she was going to fall in love with Guerin why didn't she do it over the last 10 years when there was only Guerin, Maria and me. She kicked him out of her bar enough over the past 10 years, no love lost then."

"That's exactly what I asked her." Liz nodded.

"Hang on guys. Calm down. Maria is wrong, and she obviously needs some ass kicking for hurting my sweet Alex, but what about Michael?" Rosa asked trying to calm them down. They were too worked up for this late at night.

"Oh don't worry. He'll hear from me!" Liz promised. "I know for certain he does not love Maria. That man has been crazy in love with Alex since they were in high school." 

"How did you know? Alex said no one knew he loved Michael back then?" Rosa said.

"Oh I didn't know that Alex's 'Museum Guy' was Michael, that I didn't see coming, but I did know how bad Michael had it for Alex. Anyone could see that with his big doe eyes whenever Alex was around. I tell you he better have a good excuse... no never mind! There is no excuse for what Michael did. I'm just going to give it to him good!" Liz declared, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's it sis, give him the ass kicking he deserves." Rosa cheered.

Kyle and Liz looked at each other and laughed, glad that Rosa hadn't changed. 

Over the next week, sides were taken. Alex was upset that there were sides. He felt only he should have a problem with Michael and Maria, not everyone else. Liz had told him outright that Maria was wrong and was not even sorry or admitting it. She couldn't be friends with someone like that.

"I don't even know who she is anymore Alex!" Liz exclaimed one day while they were having lunch at Alex's cabin. 

"She's still your friend Liz, that hasn't changed." Alex said calmly, while he heated the soup. 

"Not the way she is now. That's not my friend. Did you hear what I said Alex? She's not even the slightest bit sorry. She told me you loved him and she wouldn't get in the way! And then I told her sometimes you couldn't control your heart."

"Then that's what she did, Liz." Alex stated.

"No, see I didn't really think she loved him. I still don't. And I told her to talk to you first if she felt she had to act on it. Did she do that? No! She just went with her own feelings knowing how you felt and selfishly took him from you." Liz paced Alex's living room area as Alex made lunch for them. The Crashdown was too busy to have this conversation there.

"He isn't mine to take, Liz. We really never were a couple." Alex reminded her. His face showing how heart broken he was over that. "And it's my fault for pushing him away all this time. We could have been a couple if I hadn't pushed him away." Alex stated quietly, more to himself.

"But this is between Maria and I, Liz." Alex tried again to calm her down and get her to make up with Maria. He hated to see them at odds because of him.

"It's not between you two when she's being selfish and not the least bit sorry. She just now decides that she loves him? She's had the last 10 years in the same town as Michael with just the three of them if you count Kyle, and she never fell for him, not once, but you come home, she finds out who 'Museum Guy' is and then she's suddenly in love. Yeah right." Liz continued her rant.

"You sound more upset than I am, Liz." Alex remarked putting down food in front of her as she came to sit in the kitchen area. 

"Yes, and why is that, Alex? You should be ranting at her." Liz asked with a questioning look.

"Oh I'm mad at Maria and hurt and disappointed and I don't know if our friendship will ever be there again, but I'm done letting it take over my life." Alex said taking a sip of his Dr. Pepper. 

Alex continued. "I know Michael told me that he was going to need time to himself since being around me caused him hurt and pain. And he did only kiss her. I'm just afraid that Michael won't be able to get past the pain and horror he feels when he looks at me. I can forgive him that. But Maria didn't act like she was sorry in the least for kissing Michael back and then she told me she was hoping for more, and that was before coming to me. She knew I was hopeful and going to talk to Michael to try to get together with him. So I'm more hurt and disappointed with her, but I'm still disappointed in Michael too. I wonder if when he went to Maria, if it had felt right, would he have left me sitting there while he took her to bed or would he have come to tell me first." Alex got up, getting food for Lexie who waited for him patiently by his side.

"I went over to talk to Michael and give him hell for what he did to you and found out that he never got with Maria. Sure he kissed her when he went there, and he got a butt kicking from me for going there in the first place," Liz said getting up and following Alex into the living area where he sat to fix his prosthetic. 

"He realized right after he kissed her that he was wrong. He thought that Maria was the answer to his pained thoughts and would bring him peace. He was going to talk to you if he thought Maria could give him that peace right now, only he knew he had made a mistake and told her so and left right after that to deal with Max." Liz finished.

"So that what? Makes it okay that he went to her first, knowing I was waiting for him and he was off kissing Maria? He knew I wanted to talk to him. I had all but told him I was in love with him and wanted to make it work. He left me in his air stream telling me we'd talk in the morning. And so I wait and he goes to Maria first?" Alex clenched and unclenched his fists. 

"I thought we weren't going to bother with anger any longer?" Liz watched him carefully.

"This is different! I love Michael. It hurts more on his part. Maria I can't do anything about. But I love Michael and it hurts damn it! He hurt me and it sucks!" Alex said deflating a little now. 

"I know he's sorry Alex. He loves you so much. I know he only tried going to Maria because he's a train wreck since his mother died just as he'd found her. I'm not excusing him for hurting you. Believe me, I did give him an ear full." Liz explained. She came and sat with him on the couch. Lexie jumping up to sit between them.

Alex put her on his lap and held her close for comfort.

Liz petted the dog, thankful that Lexie was here to help Alex when he was alone. 

"You love him Alex. And he loves you. There must be some way you can forgive him." she said softly now. "I know he needs time, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Give him that time."

"I know he needs time. I'm giving him time. I'm just afraid on what he will decide when he's had enough time." Alex sighed.

Liz saw the pain on Alex's face and hugged him. She would leave the subject alone for now, since she had no answer.

In the weeks that followed, Alex slowly started going to another bar. It was more country, which was fun when Liz or Rosa wanted to pull him out for a slow dance, since he couldn't do the fast dances with his leg. The dances were fun and easy to learn. Kyle even joined them, as did Max and Isobel and the five of them were often there regularly. Eventually some of Kyle's and Liz's work friends met them there too. And then Alex's buddies on base went there as well.

The five of them kept Alex's mind off of Michael whenever they could and they all had fun while doing it.

One night Michael sat at a table with Max and Isobel at the 'Pony'. He was sullen and pathetic. Isobel exchanged looks with Max and sighed. They were there to cheer him up but it obviously wasn't working. Isobel glared at Max to get him to do something. Max just shrugged back at her.

Michael was bouncing his leg with nervous energy. He was always like that now. Depressed and bouncy at the same time.

"I don't know what to do. I love Alex so much, but it hurts to be around him right now. All I remember is the horror and pain when I look at him. I don't know who I am any more and don't know where I want to go from here." Michael bit a nail. Then he looked around.

"And it's been really dead here lately. What's up with that?" he asked.

Max and Isobel exchanged looks again. Michael was really out of it lately. 

"See why it was a good thing we came here tonight. He's been like this every time I come in here." Isobel explained to Max. 

"He doesn't know that everyone's going to the other bar yet? It's been weeks?"

"Hey, Michael. Want me to get you another beer hun?" Maria came around with her serving tray. 

"I thought you usually worked the bar area? At least you do when Michael's over there." Isobel said tongue in cheek to Maria. She hated that Maria wouldn't leave Michael alone. 

"I work wherever I feel like it Isobel. It's my bar." Maria remarked angrily. She'd been losing a lot of business ever since her fight with Liz and since she'd lost Alex's friendship. 

Liz took Kyle and their friends some place else, and usually Max and Isobel as well. Max and Isobel only came here to keep Michael company most of the time. Alex had friends from the base that now went to the other bar to hang out with him there. Maria was furious.

"Michael how about that beer?" Maria flirted, putting her hand on Michael's back. 

Michael jerked away from Maria and she huffed and walked away.

A few nights later, Isobel walked into the 'Pony' to find Michael there once again. He wasn't drunk yet so she grabbed him and hauled him out of there.

"Iz, I was going to have a few and relax. What's up with you?" Michael asked when Isobel led him to her car. 

"I thought we'd go to a different bar tonight. The 'Rusty Spur' is having karaoke night. You might like that." Isobel explained as she got in the car and started driving them in that direction.

" The 'Rusty Spur'? Since when do you go there? That's Maria's direct competition. We never go there." Michael sounded confused.

"Well, maybe because it's just a change of pace." Isobel smiled playfully. She didn't tell him that Alex was there. She knew he needed time, but she didn't think time away from Alex was the answer. They needed to work things out together. Not apart. She just wanted to see him happy and she honestly thought that Alex would make him happy in the long run. 

"Come on. I think you'll like it. There is a lot of line dancing. Remember when we were in high school and I taught you how to line dance so you could dance with me in my parent's living room?" Isobel reminded him with a smile.

Michael grinned remembering. "Yeah. That was fun. Why doesn't Maria have line dancing?" he wondered.

"Her bar is not big enough." Isobel told him. Surprised he'd never, in all his drinking days gone to the 'Rusty Spur'. Then she realized, because if nothing else, Michael was a loyal friend, a loyal person. 

Max and Liz had seats for them when they entered the bar with the loud but laughing crowd.

Isobel was going to ask Michael to dance with her until the dancing stopped and a deejay announced it was Karaoke night. 

Across the room, Kyle and Rosa and some of Alex's buddies from the base were with Alex at another table. 

Kyle and Rosa made eye contact with Liz as Michael sat down across from Liz and they all smiled. 

Rosa turned to Alex. "Alex, you sing, why don't you do Karaoke tonight?"

Alex shook his head. "I'll pass." He blushed as his buddies from the base and Kyle all looked at him.

"I didn't know you could sing, Alex?" A friend of Alex's from the base remarked. 

"He sings like an angel." Rosa announced to the group.

They all joined in, trying to get Alex to sing.

Alex wasn't up to it. He wasn't up to much of anything lately. He would rather be working at home with his little Lexie at his side. Sure he went out with his friends, but he preferred being home.

He watched all the couples together and sighed under his breath. Other than Kyle and Rosa, all of his friends from the base had their girlfriends or their wives with them. If things had gone differently, he and Michael could be here together, holding hands and laughing like his friends were. This group of friends knew he was gay, he could be himself with them. 

When Rosa and Kyle realized Alex wouldn't sing, they plied him with drinks until he'd loosened up enough so he would go up there. 

As he started Singing 'I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You' by Savage Garden, Michael froze. He hadn't realized Alex was there. He should leave. 

He'd heard Alex sing before, when the two of them used to play guitar together, and this had been their song. 

He'd always loved Alex's voice and now it sounded even better than ever. He missed Alex so much. And now that he'd heard Alex's voice and knew how much he loved him he realized there was no way he would have gotten with Maria even if they had been good together. He would have stopped because of his love and loyalty to Alex.

He felt better knowing he would have stopped with Maria even if he had felt better with her. Love was messy and full of pain and also happiness and feeling safe, knowing you were loved back. And Alex had all but told him he loved him and wanted to get together. And what did Michael do? He ran. That's what he did. He ran. But when he looked at Alex, or tried with Alex all he felt was pain and anger. Alex was a part of all the bad that had happened to him lately. He needed that time, hopefully to be able to look at Alex and not feel those things. Not to feel hurt or messed up.

Isobel noticed his tears and felt for her brother. So he'd run away from Alex's love, he'd been in love with Alex for years and had been waiting for him ever since Alex came back. How could she get Alex to see that, And Michael to go get Alex. They needed to work things out. Love was sticking together, not falling apart alone. She had to try to talk to Alex. Then she would deal with Michael. But first she had to get Alex to forgive her stupid brother.

Isobel got out of her car in front of Alex's cabin. It was nice. Perfect for two young men to get together and start a life with one another. All they would be missing was a dog. Isobel thought. Then smiled when she heard a small dog barking as she approached the door.

Alex opened the door and was shocked to see Isobel standing there. "Um, Isobel? What do you need? Is something wrong? Is it Michael?" he asked anxiously. 

"No. Everything's okay, Alex. Michael is fine." Isobel said and was even more sure that Alex loved her brother just as much. 

"Come in, where are my manners." Alex berated himself and stepped back to let Isobel in. Sure they met at the 'Rusty Spur' once in awhile, but she sat down by Max and Liz. Isobel had never tried to strike up a conversation with him before.

Then he realized what she was doing here and he got angry. "I'm sorry Isobel but if this is to talk about me forgiving Michael, you've wasted your time. I've already forgiven him. I'm just giving him his space." Alex crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Just hear me out Alex. Please." Isobel said.

Alex realized Isobel would just keep haunting him to talk if he didn't now so he figured he'd just let her have her say and then she'd be gone.

"Alex, Michael loves you. He's crazy in love with you. He's been waiting for you for a long time. I know he says he needs space right now but I don't think that's what he really needs."

Alex thought about that. Michael had run from him. And he knew he had run from Michael over and over again. He shook his head at Isobel as she sat on his couch and he sat across from her. He ran his hands though his hair. "Even if I went to him Isobel and he loves me, it doesn't matter, because Michael has made it very clear that he wants to be alone. He doesn't want me and what I remind him of. I cause him pain when he sees me." Alex swallowed down his own hurt at that.

Isobel sighed. "He'll get over it. He just needs time, but you can still be with him and give him that time, till he gets over the hurt."

"And what if he never gets over it? I remind him of really bad times, Isobel. He can't look at me without seeing those things. He may love me, but he can't even look at me without becoming messed up. I honestly don't think he'll ever forget that my family destroyed your family, for years they were torturing your people. And my family tortured and killed his mother!" Alex felt sick at the thought of what his family had done to those poor people. "I probably make him sick thinking of what my family did. I know I do when I look in the mirror." Alex swallowed in disgust.

Isobel stood up, and Alex stood up too. As he walked her to the door, she squeezed his arm. "Love will win out, Alex, have faith." she gave a small smile, sure Alex would come around if she could convince Michael. And with that plane, she left.

Alex was at the Crashdown with Liz and Rosa eating lunch. They were laughing over something Rosa had said when the door opened and Maria came in. They all turned away, hoping Maria wouldn't come over.

Alex noticed her look over at them and saw her start to come over but then stop. He breathed out in relief, but sucked it back in when she smirked and came their way. The smirk made him worry.

"Hello all." Maria beamed too brightly.

They all nodded and waited to see what she had to say. Alex could see Liz was hoping that Maria was there to patch things up with them. If Maria still didn't feel bad about the situation, he knew Liz wouldn't be able to forgive Maria. 

And what didn't help was that as Alex too was ready to talk things over with Maria and try to be friends again, they heard from Isobel how Maria was flirting with Michael, trying to get him to pay attention to her. How she was plying Michael with drinks till he was wasted, to keep him drunk so she could sink her claws into him and never let go. Trying to get him drunk enough that she could coax him into her bed. Maria was now trying to spite Alex for ignoring her and taking all her friends away.

Maria didn't realize that it was her behavior that was keeping her friends away from her.

"How are you all?" Maria asked with a fake smile.

Alex knew nothing good was going to come out of her mouth with that phony grin. 

"I was talking to Michael the other night, when we were the only ones left in my bar, and he said that he didn't want to be with you. That you hurt him when he looks at you. I'm so sorry Alex." Maria pouted, her mouth pursed as she tried to look contrite.

Alex blanched at those words and couldn't believe Michael would tell Maria that. Liz put her hand on Alex's arm and turned to Maria.

"I'm so sorry that Michael didn't want you. He told me that he didn't want to use you as you would only be sloppy seconds, or something like that."

Alex's eyes went wide as he stared at Liz. He was glad she wasn't angry with him. Her claws were sharp!

Luckily Maria turned red and spun around and stalked out of the diner.

"Ouch! Damn Liz, you were scary!" Alex stared as if he'd never seen her before. "Who are you and what did you do with my sweet best friend?" he swallowed and then slowly grinned.

"Glad I'm on your side is all I can say." he added.

"Liz was always a wild cat when she was defending a friend. "Rosa grinned brightly, proud of her little, big sister.

"By the way, I don't know if I'm your big sister still or am I now you're little sister?" Rosa asked.

"Little." both Liz and Alex answered at the same time.

Rosa pouted. "That's what I thought." she frowned but then cheered up. "Did you see how red Maria turned after you're claws came out Liz!" Rosa squealed happily.

"That was mean I know, but so was what she said to you Alex." Liz defended.

Alex held up his hands. "You don't have to defend yourself to me Liz. I would have loved to have come up with something like that myself."

Then all three laughed picturing Maria's face as she left.

Michael was buried inside the hood of an old pick up truck when Max pulled up. He smiled at his brother, knowing Michael loved fixing cars. He was in his element. He still wished Michael had done something with his brilliant mind, but if Michael was happy then that was all that mattered to Max.

Since dying, he'd seen things differently. He now saw how he'd treated Michael. He was never satisfied with what Michael did. He had frowned and disapproved of every move Michael made. Now he realized that Michael had been screaming for attention. He was saying 'look at me', 'see me'. He needed love and for his siblings, mainly Max, to acknowledge him.

"Hey Michael." Max said as he approached the truck. 

"Hey Max," Michael replied as he wiped his hands on the cloth he kept tucked inside his pants and stood up from the hood of the car to face his brother.

They had been on better terms lately and although Michael had at first been waiting for something that Max wanted, he now knew that Max was trying to be the brother Michael needed. Dying could do that to a person.

He noticed Max in his uniform and raised an eyebrow.

"You working? What brings you out here?" 

"I brought lunch. I didn't know if you had time to meet me for lunch in town so I just brought it out here for us." he said as he held out two Philly cheese steak sandwiches and some cold soda.

Michael took the offered meal and smiled his thanks. He knew the soda was mostly for Max since he was on duty and couldn't have a beer. Michael decided not to either since Max couldn't.

They moved to sit around the fire pit to eat.

"So how are you dealing with things?" Max asked. 

Michael shrugged. Max thought he looked frustrated and very worn-down. 

"You can talk to me if you want to you know. I won't judge." Max assured him.

Since saving Max's life, Michael noticed that they were getting along like real brothers now. Max often checked in with him or came to meet him at the 'Pony' or the 'Rusty Spur' when he went there which was still seldom knowing Alex went there. He wasn't ready for Alex yet, if ever. And that was what the depression was about. He loved Alex, but what if he could never get past the hurt and horror that he saw when he looked at Alex.

"There's not much to say Max. I..."Michael stopped talking and cried out in pain. "Ahhhhh!" he howled and held his head and his heart.

"Michael!? What is it?" Max cried out, frightened.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit Sex

Earlier that morning, Alex was coming back from a walk with Lexie, and noticed too late, that his father's jeep was in the driveway.

He flinched, but put up his chin and met his dad's eyes, standing straight and unafraid. "What do you want?" Alex asked. "I thought you were up north still?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Then you could continue parading your sick little life around Roswell." His father gritted his teeth. The anger was just simmering beneath the surface.

"You think I would do nothing after you ruined my experiments with those monsters and then blew up the building as well! You thought there wouldn't be any retribution?" His father continued in his low gravely voice.

Alex knew that voice and the coldness in his eyes. He swallowed. He would not be afraid again. Never again. He had earned a metal for bravery, this was nothing compared to that.

"You thought I would just ignore the fact that you knocked me out and tied me up, threatening me with your pathetic little ideas of how life works." his father continued, all the while keeping his voice low and almost too calm. His eyes black and soulless like a sharks eyes.

Alex couldn't help but swallow, remembering all to well the times he had been on the end of the retribution his father could give out. Especially he remembered the time Michael had paid the price.

Lexie growled low in her throat, sensing her owners tension.

"Now that's just the kind of dog a fag would get. A pathetic tiny dog. You think I don't know how you and that other boy, Guerin, have been seen together on many occasions, flaunting your disgusting life style for all of the base to see. My people. You let your life style infect my people. They now know what you are." Jesse spat out, clenching and unclenching his fists. 

His first strike caught Alex by surprise. It shouldn't have. Alex should have known what was coming. He cursed himself for being stupid, as he got up from the floor gently as his prosthetic was rubbing against his leg now that is had loosened. 

Before he was steady on his feet, his father kicked his bad leg out from under him, sending him crashing to the ground again. This time, snapping a bone in his arm sending sharp agonizing pain down his arm. Alex bit his lip, damned if he would cry out in front of his father.

"You thought you could do all those things and not receive retribution from me?" he demanded again as he circled Alex slowly as if a predator stalking it's prey. 

Lexie was in a fit now, barking and growling and rubbing against Alex as if to protect him with her own little body.

"You and your pathetic dog." Jesse Manes said in disgust and gave Lexie a kick, sending her skittering across the ground to land near the bushes. She gave a sharp yelp when she was first kicked but now she wasn't saying anything.

"You Bastard!" Alex shouted. That was one thing that could get him angry in front of his dad. Hurting animals was just the worst in Alex's eyes. "You coward. Picking on a little animal instead of a grown man. You have a problem with me, take it out on me!" Alex said trying to get up again. 

Now it was almost impossible with one broken arm and his loosened prosthetic, causing him anguish as he put his weight on it. He bit his lip to keep from crying out and managed to stand straight and face his father once more.

This time his father let him get up before he hit him again. Alex saw a quick blur and then bright lights before his eyes as the pain in his jaw intensified with every second. What the hell had his dad hit him with? It sure wasn't his fist. When he straightened up, he sucked in his breath at the gun aimed right at him.

"What the hell are you doing father? You gonna ruin your career for murder? And of your own son?" Alex asked, alarmed. He could see his dad could indeed kill him.

"You are no son of mine! I don't have a son whose a fag! And soon I won't have to worry about what the people on the base are saying either. I'll just be the poor man who's lost a child to murder from an stranger passing though." Jesse smiled.

"Who's going to know I took your life?" Jesse Manes continued. "No one out here for miles. Could be anyone. And I know how to cover my tracks, everyone of them. Remember how trained we are." his father reminded him with an evil grin.

Alex shivered because he knew his father was right. No one would know who had murdered him. As his father raised his gun, Alex swallowed and faced his killer with a strong, fearless expression.

The gunshot surprised him even though he had expected it. But what surprised him the most was that it didn't hurt. He didn't even feel it. He had a look of confusion as he stood there and then he was meeting the ground as he lost his balance. 

He still couldn't feel anything.

Jesse grinned again and started wiping the tracks around his truck and the immediate area. Alex watched in fascination as his father backed his car off the dirt driveway and then came back onto the driveway to clean up the tire tracks as well. 

His father finished and came over to Alex and saluted him. "Good bye Alex." Jesse Manes said as he walked away and then drove off, leaving Alex bleeding from around his heart.

When the pain finally hit he couldn't help but cry out in anguish. He was glad his father was gone and hadn't heard him. He would not give that bastard the satisfaction. He looked around for Lexie and saw her slowly getting up and limping over to him, licking his face and whimpering as Alex swore and cried out again at the excruciating pain radiating from his whole body.

He was slowly getting weaker. He could feel the blood pooling around him and he tried to hold his hand against the wound to stem the flow of blood, but wasn't succeeding as he was getting too tired to press on the gunshot wound.

He felt cold and started to shiver. He knew he was going into shock. God what could he do? There was nothing and no one around. He would die alone out here.

He tried to fight it and stay awake, but his eyelids were getting too heavy. He succumbed to his weakness and then he felt nothing as everything went black.

"Hurry Max! He's fading! He's dying Max!" Michael sobbed, holding his arm and his heart, both in agony.

After Michael had felt the first signs of pain, he wondered if it was Isobel, but Alex's face kept popping up and he just knew it was coming from Alex. He didn't question how he knew, but just had Max get them to Alex's place as fast as he could.

Michael was shivering now and knew it wouldn't be long for Alex. He was getting so weak himself. "No Alex...fight this for me love." Michael whispered his fear for Alex beyond what he could imagine. A life without Alex in it was not one he wanted to live in. 

He couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever! He loved Alex more than life. He knew that now. 

Tears were streaming down his face as he urged Max faster. Max had his siren on and his foot was to the floor as he watched Michael reacting to something horrible that was happening to Alex Manes.

When they were close enough to see Alex's house, Michael shouted when he saw a Alex curled up on the floor unmoving. Michael barley felt anything any more and knew why. "He's dying Max! Hurry! Help him!" Michael wept and fell to his knees turning Alex over and holding him in his arms. He saw the gunshot wound over his heart and cried out in agony.

Max moved around Michael and into place beside his brother to heal the love of Michael's life. 

He put his hand over Alex's chest and concentrated on healing the gunshot wound around Alex's heart.

He focused on the bullet and dissolved that first. Then he worked on mending the damage the bullet had done, pulling together the damaged vessels and making Alex good as new. That's when he saw Alex's arm at an odd angle and he fixed the break as well. When he finally finished he turned around and threw up.

Alex opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "How did you find me in time? What are you two doing here?" Alex asked as he sat up with Michael's help.

Michael was too busy checking Alex over, running his hands up and down Alex's body to make sure there weren't any other wounds they might have missed, to answer Alex right away.

 

Max turned back to them and Michael and Max's eyes met. Michael nodded his thanks and Max just nodded back.

"My brother here felt your pain and we got here as fast as we could." Max said and then realized what he'd said. Michael had felt Alex's pain? 

As if realizing this as well, both Michael and Alex stared at each other. Alex perplexed and Michael in fear. 

Now he was feeling Alex's pain? After all this time? What was up with that? Had Alex and he made a connection at some point that made him able to feel something about Alex?

"How is that possible?" Alex looked from Michael to Max.

Max thought about it. "Maybe there was something that tied the two of you together. Have you...been intimate lately?" Max asked and shifted, uncomfortable talking about his brother's sex life. It was his brother. It was like talking about his parents having sex.

Michael shook his head. "No. Not intimate. Has to be something else." he sighed and ran his hands down his face.

"A powerful experience you two had together?" Max thought.

Michael and Alex looked at each other and both knew. When he'd met his mother.

Max started to get up when Michael's hand was there to help him. Both brothers stood face to face when Michael whispered "Thank you Max."

Max just squeezed Michael's arm.

"Max, my dog, can you make sure she's okay? She was limping after my father kicked her away from me." Alex pleaded.

Max nodded and seeing the dog not far from Alex he took him into his arms and healed his broken leg and bleeding stomach. He then put the little dog back down and stood up. He looked at his watch. "Shit! I'm late clocking back in. Gotta go. Alex can you drive Michael home?" he asked and saw Alex nodded and then Max left.

"Are you sure you're okay? Nothing else was injured?" Michael asked, still looking Alex over for any other injuries. 

"I'm fine, Michael." Alex reassured him. "Thank you for coming so quickly. I was really close to death. I couldn't feel anything towards the end of what I could remember. All I remembered was feeling cold from shock." Alex was still recalling it.

"I knew it too." Michael swallowed, taking Alex's arms and looking him in the eyes deeply. "God, I've never been so scared in my life!" he whispered. He started rubbing up and down Alex's arms and then took him into his arms. Holding him tight, afraid he would slip away again.

Alex held Michael tight as well. He loved being in Michael's arms. His big strong arms and muscular chest made Alex wild. He loved the scent of Michael and his warm arms around him. He closed his eyes and just let himself feel as he was envelop in the warmth of Michael's muscular body.

Michael held onto the love of his life and knew he couldn't live without him. He leaned back, still holding Alex's arms, to look into his eyes 

"The ironic part of this whole thing was that the horror and pain I felt when I was around you was also the time we connected on a cosmic level of that depth. It was so intense. But you must have felt what I was feeling when I had to leave my mother, and when the whole place blew up." Michael said in amazement.

Alex looked at Michael and nodded. "Yes." he whispered in a choked up voice. 

Michael held onto Alex and sobbed, he too remembering it in detail.

Alex held him back and cried for the loss of Michael's family. How excited Michael'd been and how content he'd looked when he'd found his mother. And then he'd had to make the decision to leave her like she'd asked. And he'd watched her and all the other members of his species blown up.

Alex felt all of Michael's pain in detail, just like Michael. He was feeling Michael's pain like Michael had felt his. He'd been feeling Michael's pain since that day. Michael probably hadn't realized it because of all that had happened, but he was probably feeling Alex's pain as well.

Michael was thinking along the same lines. If Alex had been feeling his pain since that day, then Michael had been feeling his as well. How confusing!

"Alex..." he swallowed when he pulled back again to look into Alex's beautiful eyes. "I've been feeling your emotions since that day and you've been feeling mine." Michael said as his mind came to a realization. "That's why I only saw and felt pain when I was around you. You were feeding off of my pain and then I was feeling your pain when I pushed you away."

" What a mess, but what does it mean?." Alex shook his head at how insane it sounded.

"It means that I don't need to be away from you. I do feel pain when I'm around you, but I'm going to feel your pain and my pain anyways, since we are linked in some way." Michael realized and smiled wide.

"What are you trying to say?" Alex swallowed feeling excited too, but not wanting to get his hopes up.

"It means that I don't have to stay away from you! Thank God! I love you so much, Alex. I've been so depressed thinking I'd never get over the pain I felt when I was around you! When half the pain I was feeling was yours because I had turned away from you." Michael was euphoric.

Alex felt his excitement and smiled and hugged Michael to him tightly. He didn't have to wonder how he would live his life without feeling Michael's arms around him any more. His pain eased which caused Michael's pain to ease.

They both laughed and the pain receded even more.

Michael leaned in and kissed Alex gently on the lips at first, just enjoying the feel of Alex's warm, soft lips on his again. Of the scent and taste that was Alex. 

Then Alex opened his mouth, inviting Michael in and then it was teeth and tongues, and when Michael took Alex's sexy bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently, Alex groaned and pushed into Michael harder and began to rub against him. They were both hard and Michael realized that they needed to take this inside.

He pulled Alex with him into Alex's cabin and then before the door was even closed all the way, Alex was on him again. They changed places and Michael leaned Alex back into the door and kissed him some more. He thought he could probably just kiss Alex forever. 

Michael was happy now. The feelings of elation running though Michael was unreal. He knew it was mainly because he was feeling Alex's mood, but it was also his own. It was confusing, but as long as he could be with Alex he didn't care.

Before they could go any further and make love on the floor, Michael led Alex into the bedroom. He gently pushed Alex onto the bed and smiled down at him as he knelt to undo Alex's prosthetic. Once removed he took off Alex's jeans and saw he was commando. "Now I know why the word is commando, because military men must dress this way often." He stated hoarsely and quickly removed Alex's pull over bloody sweatshirt as well. He quickly followed, removing his own clothes and looked down at Alex.

Alex looked back up at Michael and had to catch his breath. There he stood, his beautiful broad chest with the little curls of hair that made him crazy. And his beautiful hips that cut in from his chest and lead to his fascinating and gorgeous cock that was erect and waiting for Alex. 

Alex raised his arms above his head, palms up and gave an inviting seductive smile up at Michael which made Michael groan and climb onto Alex.

Michael slid up Alex's delicious body and sinful cock and adjusted the two of them so their cocks were snuggled up together, side by side. Then he slid his fingers gently up Alex's arms gliding them up into the crevice where his elbow creased and then up to his palm where he slid their fingers together and locked them in a gentle hold.

Alex watched Michael slowly worship his body, taking deep breaths as Michael aligned their cocks, brushing Michael's cock along his already sensitive one. Then watched as Michael ran his fingers gently up his arms and then looked up at Michael when he held Alex's hands. Alex looked at Michael's moist lips and almost came then and there when Michael licked his lips and looked down playfully at Alex with hot passion filled eyes. 

Michael watched Alex's throat swallow and then looked to his wet, extra plump and red, bottom lip from all of their kissing. He wanted, no needed to kiss Alex again. He dipped down and took Alex's mouth in his, devouring Alex's mouth and sucking on his lower lip making it even more plump and inviting. He could taste Alex. His taste, his scent all driving Michael to the brink.

Alex closed his eyes as Michael kissed him, enjoying the feelings without vision which enhanced the intensity of their kiss. He could taste Michael on his lips and his scent, that was just Michael, surrounded them. Alex breathed in deeply and groaned. 

"Michael." he pleaded arching up into Michael between kisses and grinding their cocks together.

Michael threw his head back and sucked in his breath. 

"Easy there babe, you don't want me to come before we've even started." Michael grinned down at Alex who was all flushed and more than ready.

"You have lube?" Michael asked desperately hoping he did. He had already told Alex Aliens couldn't get diseases and Alex had told him he hadn't been with anyone in years, since he rarely had privacy in the military, and couldn't be seen with another man in public like straight couples.

"Bedside drawer." Alex could barely get out as he was breathing so hard now.

Michael put plenty of lube on his fingers and into Alex's hole before he slid one finger at a time into Alex. The first one always the best because that sweet hole always gripped his finger the tightest. Michael hissed.

"God Alex, you're always so tight." Michael remarked, shaking as he continued. Alex was too sexy for him. When he had three fingers in and was easily able to move in and out, he knew Alex was ready. That and the mewling unintelligible words coming from Alex's mouth and the squirming Alex was doing.

"Now! Michael please!" Alex finally got out.

"Yes babe, now." Michael agreed and slicking himself up good, he slid slowly into Alex.

Once Michael was all the way in, they stayed still like that for a minute, eyes meeting and then their mouths kissed as they started the slow rhythm of love making. 

Michael loved the tightness that was Alex. How he held him so tightly inside of him, gripping Michael and releasing him in the way only Alex could, and driving Michael insane with Alex's sexy moves.

Michael could feel when Alex's cock started pulsing, as he pushed in and hit Alex's prostate at just the right angle and knew Alex wasn't far from coming. Michael picked up speed, kissing Alex wildly. His hips snapping as he brought himself to readiness.

"Oh...Michael, hurry love." Alex pleaded and exploded when Michael pulled away from the kiss and looked down at him with deep, passionate heavy lidded eyes, hips snapping wildly to bring him to release, hitting his prostate each time.

As soon as Alex came between them, Michael let go and came as well, all the while groaning Alex's name.

When they came down from their high, Michael fell to the side of Alex and they lay there for a few minutes just trying to catch their breaths. Alex reached out and took Michael's hand and Michael held on tight.

"I love you Michael." Alex said on a sigh. 

Michael turned on his side, his hand holding his head up and smiled gently into Alex's eyes that he loved so much.

"I love you so much Alex Manes." Michael whispered back on a choking sob that asked for forgiveness.

And Alex knew that he truly had forgiven Michael, finally.

Just then Michael felt a wet tongue on his foot and jumped a mile off the bed. 

"What the fuck!" he almost screamed. 

Alex laughed as he looked down and saw Lexie at the bottom of the bed wanting to get up on the bed and play too.

"Uh... Michael, meet Lexie, my Beagle." he grinned.

"Okay, no matter how cute that dog is, she's not going to be taking my place in our bed any longer." Michael promised as he picked the dog up and placed her between them all the while petting her. 

"No one is going to come between us again." Alex promised, meeting Michael's gaze with passion filled eyes.

"No one." Michael promised back and putting Lexie down again, he leaned over Alex once more and kissed him again, ready for round two.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like, you can follow me on Tumblr under the same name I use here. 'Crazy4Roswell'


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